Was that a bad day? I am not sure….

This weekend I had a bad day.  Of course that is the story I am spinning and telling myself because I found myself frustrated, annoyed and exhausted all at the same time.  I didn’t set the intention once I planted my yogi toes on my hard wooden floor, it simply unrolled itself in this light as the day progressed.  I had a good night’s sleep, rose early to greet the sunshine out my window, and even spent a few minutes catching up with my pups before jumping into my morning routine.

With each moment of frustration I added it to a list.  A list?  Yes, a list.  I started compiling all these things that were frustrating to me.  I began hanging onto conversations, doubting my voice, resisting and creating more angst than really imaginable.  I laugh now, but really I was pouting, stomping up and down and throwing a fit inside.  My monkey mind started to escalate and took me for a spin a few times on the merry-go-round of sanity, until yup, you guessed it, it finally left me.  My brain became all fuzzy, overwhelmed and disarray.

When I find myself frustrated, tired, annoyed or angry, I know that I will begin to throw anything that surrounds me into this same pit.  I will pull the responsibilities from the week ahead, heck even the last week, the rest of the day, the tiny tasks that need to be taken care of before I can head to bed, into this one-big-PIT.  I forget that each emotion has a purpose.  Each emotion is separate of itself and has something to teach me.  A lot of the emotions were self-provoked and completely unnecessary during this day.  Can I hear this though?  Yeah not so much in the moment, not on days like these.

Mind you as frustrated as this story says I was, I still managed to plan out an entire week’s worth of tasks, complete them all, cook a meal, converse with family members AND make time for the self-care my emotional body was calling for. An empty day of frustration and anger….and most importantly recognition of resistance…..yeah that about sums up my day.  Do not get me wrong, one of my dear yoga teachers always said that, ‘one is not angry, the all-encompassing emotion of anger, or any emotion for that matter…..it is only that the emotion is present.’  When I view my emotions through this lens I see all too clearly that I am not my emotions.  I am angry, yes, but is it all-consuming, does it frame everything I do from this point on, am I no longer capable of LOVE for the rest of the hour, day, weekend even?  No!  This emotion is present, yes this is true, can I watch and witness how it affects me physically, emotionally? YES!

I also know from LIFE experience that once something is labeled as a ‘bad day,’ it means absolutely nothing.  I always think of this in terms of headaches or aches and pains.  I feel all too often when we label something as such, ‘ahh I got a headache today,’ that this entails that the remainder of the day we are stuffed into this box of ‘the headache.’  If anyone were to approach you it is all through this lens of ‘the headache.’  If you have desires to be ambitious or active, ‘ahh nope, can’t do that, today I have ‘the headache.’  Same thing goes for aches and pains.  I hear someone say, ‘my shoulder hurts or knee bothers me,’ does this mean that this is not temporary?  Does this mean that at no point during the day could this person step outside of the ‘label’ of their day and experience something else?  Yes of course, right!

All too often stories get created from one single experience, one all-encompassing emotional moment, and suddenly they are placed in this box of who they are.  No options to step outside that box, nor will they let themselves.  Convincing themselves that they are this ‘label’ and not capable of changing, growing, shifting, transforming, having courage to do something different!

For me, I can only speak from my point of view and LIFE experience, for me, I labeled the day as bad.  I labeled the day again and again, moment to moment.  No wonder I was exhausted.

Above is a video that was sent to me on this day.

It reminding me of why I do what I do….I am inspired daily to share gratitude.

I am inspired every moment to be a student, to be a teacher, to lead by example.

I am inspired by LIFE and all its beauty.  I am inspired by LOVE, the pursuit to see what lies on the other side….always radiance, it is always true radiance!

Enjoy the beauty that lies in the unknown, no labels, no all-encompassing emotions, simply witnessing.

‘Loosen your grip, opening each palm, slowly now, let go…….when someone asks you how was your day, realize that for some of us, it’s the only way we know how to say…..be calm.’

by Shane Koyczan

enjoy this day

~screaming gratitude

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