Monday morning tea cup

Photo by Sarah Dufresne

outside my window, sunshine pouring in….possibilities


Good morning screamers!  I can barely type fast enough this morning to deliver my message of being in the vast majority of shame, vulnerability and dis-ease when it comes to living an authentic LIFE, my fingers can barely keep up.  My weekend, let’s call it challenging with a lot of push back, came to teach me many lessons, that of all which I was able to be truly present for and witness, and share with you here on this platform.

I know this opening sound a bit more heavy than my usual Monday mornings wake-ups, but in organizing this weeks launch of ‘Have you seen this yet?’, I have been doing much research.  The research is finding amazing people, AWE-some blogs, ideas, so on and so forth and how they live in this world.  Each and every one of them have all provided me with this awareness that there is a true desire to be SEEN, HEARD and ACKNOWLEDGED as having walked this green earth.  Most of these amazing voices teach what they know, share who they are, the messy, ugly and unhappy parts, from their own personal experiences.  The people who I have come across, I have found, are a lot like me.  When I came to realize that I was amongst the vast majority of amazing people out there, fearing vulnerability, ignoring shame and passing off the feelings of dis-ease, my physical body began to settle a little deeper into my chair and something began to open up and guide my writing.

Over the course of the last few days, it feels as if time slowed down.  There were many moments of saying YES! to what lay in front of me and then there were moments when I had no other choice but to return to my breath and allow LIFE to unfold as it wanted to.  I realized that I had no control over anything and had to let go of any expectations of knowing and simply stand there and feel whatever was coming my way, sans resistance.

Ahhh what a magical place to be when you finally let it all go.

I have to tell you, LIFE is a gift.  Perhaps I have shared this with you before, but really I mean this, whole-heartedly.  LIFE never fails to surprise me.  Every moment of every day there arises something new, an experience, a person, a conversation, and interaction that allows me to become more aware of the bigger picture, that we all are in this together.  When I refer to ‘this’ I mean LIFE, I mean the ugly, messy, exhausting, powerful, beautiful, breath-taking LIFE, that we wake up to each day.  Yes, there are ups and downs, like with anything.  Yes, there is inconsistency, some days it sunny and other days it rains.  All the while time is passing us by we are adapting to LIFE and all that it gives us.  There is no way not to…time stops for no one.  As much as you would like to relive an event, rehash a conversation, have a do-over, it will not happen, it cannot happen, you can choose to accept it or not.

This week’s perspective is all about knowing, recognizing and really standing in the truth that the vast majority of us feel exactly the same way, lost.  Time and time again I have to remind myself that no one, no one, has any idea as to what they are doing in LIFE. There was no workshop on LIFE that you missed, there was no retreat on how to handle LIFE that everyone attended and you didn’t sign up to in time so you got put on the waiting list, no there was none of this.  Each and every day we are all giving it our best shot, others appear more polished at it, that’s all.  The more you are present throughout each moment, the better your LIFE is.  Cultivating awareness around the moments in LIFE that mean the most to you, allows you to truly feel each emotion that rises up, witness it and allow it to flow through you and out.  Paying attention is so very important.  I spend so much time holding on, to experiences, to people, to the past, that it is harder to experience the present without any baggage.  Notice when resistance is present, ask yourself why it is showing up, what are you avoiding, what are you putting in the shadows to ‘deal with later,’ ask yourself why are you holding on so tightly.  Then on a sunny Tuesday afternoon when you are brave enough to answer and come to realize that, ‘oh yeah, all of this resistance is to protect me from dealing with the truth of the matter,’ you will be better able to examine your own feelings, find out what you really want and put it into action.

LIFE is a balance, it is a classroom, it is an opportunity to learn many, many lessons.  Some lessons familiar to us, as if we have learned them before, some lessons are brand new and hard to swallow, but we know are better for us.  Notice when you feel that push back, notice your surroundings, your breath, your physical body, are you connected? or are you not.

Remember when time slows down for you, the universe is in fact trying to communicate with you, LISTEN, listen to the wisdom it has to share with you.  When time slows down for you, realize that this is your experience, this is a moment that you must take in, this is the part of the workshop that you get to be present for.  Lean in and listen real close and hear the words speak to you and say, ‘we are all fools here, do the best you can and you will be rewarded my friend.’

I looked down at my fists often, softened my grip, feel my fingers digging into the palm of my dry hand and slowly allow some light inside.  I unfurl my fingers slowly, gazing into the palm of my hand and there in front of me is expansion into the unknown.


enjoy this day

~screaming gratitude




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