buy a notebook
check bank accounts
check, check, check
I feel as though my entire day was checking off my to-do list. I step back and reflect on my day, now only at 9:29pm, do I see what was lingering all day. Amidst my tense shoulders in traffic this morning, messy note taking, sweaty palms during yoga flow, only now do I sense this knowing of seeking silence rising up inside of me.
I spend what feels like a lot of my days filling up journals, date books, checking off that list. I feel as though time has no boundaries any longer, or the boundaries it does have are small, short and have a beginning and an end. Each day on the calendar is highlighted with tasks, obligations, responsibilities. I long for empty spaces. I long for an empty day to fill up with nothingness. Perhaps it was because I set the intention only yesterday to find silence, to honor the desire for silence but the idea has been floating atop the tea-cup of LIFE and I cannot ignore it.
My cat stretch today was deep and a bit achy. I felt at home on my mat, listening to my breath, it was hypnotizing. There was comfort in following my breath. Connecting movement with my breath. I could feel each movement, each micro-movement, deep inside. I was not distracted, it was entirely internal……well almost, there was a few moments where I looked up for a drishti and my eyes landed on the yogini eloquently propped up in pigeon or dolphin, I don’t remember. But nonetheless, my practice today felt like a practice, it felt like unlike the past few days, few weeks, today it felt like I showed up. I filled my lungs with breath. I folded deeper towards the ground. I reached a bit further and sometimes I didn’t. Today, my Tuesday cat stretch was so much more than checking off the to-do list, it was LIFE happening, connection, all was aligned and all quiet. Presence. No distraction. Peace. Union. Breath.
After class I did not feel the need to gush about the hip openers or the teacher, I threw on my sneakers and leg warmers and found myself outside on the chilly fall afternoon. September, be that the air to remind you that seasons are changing. Yoga, be that the breath to remind you that you are inside this physical container, always changing.
I cannot wait for a new day
I cannot wait for tomorrow
I hope I find moments like these ones, or not.
enjoy this day