aad guray…seeking solid ground

Photo by Sarah Dufresne

seeking solid ground, searching for a place to land, seeking solace

Day 2, my LIFE in mantras….

‘Aad guray nameh judaad guray nameh sat guray nameh siri guru dayvay nameh’

Aad guray: when I was strengthening my home practice and transition after transition…seeking solid ground from 2006-2010

Mind you I am sure that I looked up the meaning to this mantra at some point in the past, nevertheless I was in awe when I revisited its translation in this moment.  As I was compiling these mantras that have been ever-present over the last few years I wrote this statement above.  Now, finding more of a clear explanation for this mantra for this post, I landed upon this website that described exactly my feelings, yearnings and desires during this time in my LIFE.

The translation of this mantra is

I BOW TO (OR CALL ON) THE PRIMAL WISDOM.

I BOW TO (OR CALL ON) THE WISDOM THROUGH THE AGES.

I BOW TO (OR CALL) THE TRUE WISDOM.

I BOW TO (OR CALL ON) THE GREAT TRANSPARENT WISDOM WITHIN. -translation from Kundalini Yoga Info.

This mantra is about protection, it is said to surround the magnetic field with protective light, invoking the protective energy of the Universe.

During the time that this mantra was present in my LIFE I was amongst many transitions.  I always felt transitory and without a solid ground.  I sought out ways in which to strengthen my home practice of both asana and meditation day and night.  I recall listening to this mantra while I lay on the floor of my living room, day after day after day.  I remember trying everything in my power to create safety in my body.  I remember trying so hard to feel grounded, to feel connected, to listen to the wisdom I had inside my body.  Most days I was terrified of living, of going outside even.  I struggled a long time with anxiety, panic and fear.  My relationship with fear was very different from how it is today.  As many challenges that I had to overcome during that time, I would not change any of it.  I had to find my own path.  I had to strengthen my practice, listen to the wisdom, I had to do all of that…….. to survive.  Today I can sit here and tell you confidently I feel I have been pretty BRAVE in my LIFE.  Looking back I would not have called it brave, I would have called it choice.  A few years ago I did not have the capacity to see LIFE as an opportunity to be BRAVE.

All that we experience, all that we encounter in LIFE is to teach us.  Every win or loss, challenge or gift is an opportunity.  I feel as though I had to struggle under so many weights and layers to become who I am today, forever grateful.  I feel as though the battle I fought inside amongst my own demons, has given me the courage to be so very grateful today.

Without gratitude there is nothing.  Without awareness there is nothing.  Finding solace amongst my own demons has made me a warrior in my own light.  I now stand in that radiance as a warrior.

When I hear the words of this mantra I recall the emotions I felt, I recall the strength it took me to create that protective light.  If I had known all along that the light was already within me, it would have changed my path entirely.

This mantra gave me the solace I needed, the recognition of self.  The recognition of my own radiance.

This is my most favorite version of this mantra sang by, of course, Deva Premal…..oh and a few pretty sunsets too!  Love me some radiance!

enjoy this day

~screaming gratitude

 

 
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