Wednesday evening tea cup

Photo by Sarah Dufresne

outside my window tonight…..tea, sunset and pink clouds

needing to be seen

validation

how fleeting LOVE is

searching

the power of the mind

the power of the stillness

there is doubt. confidence.

there is a stack of dishes tonight. heavy stacks of dishes all throughout the day.

stillness occurs and some days I trace the outline of the plates-one at a time and other days my monkey mind smashes around those dishes.

destroying the stillness.

destroying the stillness of my mind.

as if stillness is an object, a way of being, a destination.

self-doubt. regret. anxiety. panic. fear.

it takes time to clean up the mess of who you are.

it takes time to clean up the mess of who I am.

I sweep, move and start anew.

every moment. every day.

I keep LIFE tidy. I keep up appearances.

I use my experiences to keep the space inside neat and tidy.

In the mess I find insight. I hear wisdom.

what if I left the mess.

what if I cleared a small space, sat amongst the mess

if I laid down in the mess

what if I found peace here

no what if, I find peace here, amongst the mess

the mess is a way to know I am being real

I am living full-out

listening to my heartbeat, feeling my physical body

listening to my breath

the mess is what shows me I am alive

if I leave the plates scattered and strewn there are no more piles to hide behind

no big couches, boxes or distractions to hide behind

if I lay here on this floor, there is but one thing I will find

peace

validation of self

validation of self LOVE

validation of acknowledging I have all I need to be whole

I am whole

I am the power behind my mind

I am LOVE

I am stillness

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