needing to be seen
how fleeting LOVE is
the power of the mind
the power of the stillness
there is doubt. confidence.
there is a stack of dishes tonight. heavy stacks of dishes all throughout the day.
stillness occurs and some days I trace the outline of the plates-one at a time and other days my monkey mind smashes around those dishes.
destroying the stillness.
destroying the stillness of my mind.
as if stillness is an object, a way of being, a destination.
self-doubt. regret. anxiety. panic. fear.
it takes time to clean up the mess of who you are.
it takes time to clean up the mess of who I am.
I sweep, move and start anew.
every moment. every day.
I keep LIFE tidy. I keep up appearances.
I use my experiences to keep the space inside neat and tidy.
In the mess I find insight. I hear wisdom.
what if I left the mess.
what if I cleared a small space, sat amongst the mess
if I laid down in the mess
what if I found peace here
no what if, I find peace here, amongst the mess
the mess is a way to know I am being real
I am living full-out
listening to my heartbeat, feeling my physical body
listening to my breath
the mess is what shows me I am alive
if I leave the plates scattered and strewn there are no more piles to hide behind
no big couches, boxes or distractions to hide behind
if I lay here on this floor, there is but one thing I will find
validation of self
validation of self LOVE
validation of acknowledging I have all I need to be whole
I am whole
I am the power behind my mind
I am LOVE
I am stillness