feel everything


when you avoid emotions such as fear, anger or frustration……you are in part also limiting your experience with joy, happiness and ease.

i heard these words recently, and immediately it resonated with me.  i sensed a familiarity with this idea that hit home for me. it hit directly in my heart.  i could suddenly feel my honest bones at the core of my being revealing to me all of the emotions i had been avoiding.  my eyes welled up, my throat started to tingle and close and a heavy weight lifted off of my shoulders.

i wanted to hear it again. i wanted to feel whatever it was that she said, that triggered, that enabled me to feel, to let go, to simply be.  ‘what did she say that released me?’ my knee jerk reaction as a writer is to grab a pen, but instead i chose to sit, to stay in it and feel all of it. to feel everything.  for so long i compartmentalized, organized or controlled what i felt, right now, right here was an opportunity to feel something and i wanted to feel everything.

as i have said before, i feel like life sometimes pulls us away from feeling everything. that in fact, feeling everything in life is too much, it is overwhelming to have the human experience.

how does one best live a balanced life? experiencing it all, staying open, asking questions, surrendering at every turn?  what does this balanced life look like?

what is the sensation of pain but a strong reminder to pay attention.

what is the essence of joy but a strong reminder to surrender, to let go again and again and again; a fleeting moment that i all too often try to tie down the moment i realize it is fading.

enjoy THIS day

~screaming gratitude


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